Esquire

"I passed the bar."

Eric was sitting across the kitchen table from me on Friday when I spit out that one sentence above, calm as could be, out of the blue, and partially out of disbelief that my name was actually on the page.

I didn't have time to be dramatic, like I thought I would be.

I stumbled across the results unexpectedly, as I didn't know they had been posted online yet, and my letter was delayed in the mail until yesterday because of our move. 

It was probably best that way, because the anticipation and anxiety of opening the letter in the mailbox surely would have been a detriment to my health.

I'm not entirely joking.

Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty stinkin excited!!!

 But mostly, I just feel an overwhelming sense of relief.

And thankfulness.

Relief that I do not have to study for that beast again.

Relief that I do not have to put my husband through that whole, miserable process again.

Relief that we can go on a long vacation and I can truly, wholeheartedly enjoy it in a couple of weeks.

And another sign of assurance that we made the right decision for our family by moving here.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I'm such an anxious person by nature. 

All my fellow Type A's out there can identify.

And that just increased ten-fold for the past four months. 

Every time I wavered, every time I doubted, I tried to keep the verse above running through my head. 

I believe those words, even if the results had gone the other way. 

 And I believe them as I begin the job hunt, and they keep me from settling for the first thing that comes along, when I know it's not the right fit. 

I could not have done it without that faith, and I could not have done it without Eric.

Lots of people say that, but really, I am convinced to the very core of my being that I could not have done it without Eric.

Photo taken at my graduation from law school, that I never posted...whoopsie.

I am so thankful for his support, and strength, and positive attitude...when I had none on my own.

I'm so appreciative of the sacrifices he made for me, and for our family, throughout the past three years...

because really (among many other things), who enjoys giving up weekends and sitting in silence day after day so his wife can study?

Without a word of complaint.  

The man is a saint in my eyes.

And in my mother's. (smile)

This will be the only place you see me "blast" my bar results on social media.

Not because I'm not proud and excited.

Oh believe me, I am!

Just primarily because I want to respect the others who didn't get positive results, who I know also worked so incredibly hard.

But I had to share with all of you because:

a) this blog is a little journal of our life

b) you all have been a part of the journey

   

Thank you, thank you, thank you to my "real life" friends who sent up too many prayers, gifts, and words of encouragement for me to count. 

And thank you to so many of you that I've never even met in person, but who I consider to be friends anyway.

You all sent so many kind words, thoughts, and prayers throughout this process. 

You blow me away.

Emails that were perfectly timed, on a Wednesday in the middle of January, even when I hadn't blogged in weeks, to let me know that you were rooting for me.   

I'm sure some of you prayed prayers that I don't even know about.

You are such beautiful, wonderful women. 

When I started blogging two years ago, I had no idea that your friendship was in store for me.

 I only wish that I could gather you all in one room together right now for a glass of wine :) 

Please know...

I'm so very appreciative of your friendship, and of your interest in my tiny little corner of blog world.